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System76
System76 provides and supports Ubuntu pre-installed laptops, desktops, and servers with a commitment to the ideals of open source software.
http://system76.com/
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To help increase awareness of Firefox, Mozilla would like to produce a high-quality, innovative 30-second ad that introduces Firefox to mainstream Web users.
In line with its history and orientation, Mozilla is opening up the creation of its initial advertising creative to film, TV, advertising, multimedia professionals, students and aspiring pros as part of the Firefox Flicks Ad Contest.
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Online Arcade
Awesome Flash Games at The First Post!
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Nokia's awesome new Nseries phone runs on the Linux OS!
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Picasa
Picassa 2 is certainly better than the software that came with your digital camera! Works with Windows and Linux...
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The PC Chat Computer Show - Articles
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Doofuses I Met This Week on the Internet
01-17-2007 |
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Welcome back to another exciting installment of Doofuses I Met This Week on the Internet.
I started out the week on the Winnipeg Free Press Web site where I learned that two men are demanding that a local casino pay a jackpot they say they won on a nickel slot machine. Big sports.
The Manitoba Lottery Commission acknowledges that a message did appear on the machine announcing that they had won $200,000, but that it was a software error because nickel machines should not have payouts above $3,000. But attorney Jordan Bernstein—isn’t there always an attorney involved—said there was no sign on the machine stating a maximum pay out. He says the men should receive 4 million nickels for successfully matching five numbers on the Keno machine.
As a professional doofus detective—do not attempt this at home—I sense several doofuses here: First, the lawyer, by default, just because any time there’s a lawyer in a story we have a doofus. In this case, the lawyer is adamant that his poor clients receive the 200K, but let’s not forget that since Mr. Lawyer is getting at least a third of whatever he can collect for his doofus clients, he stands to gain a cool $66,000. Nice gig.
And then there’s the casino. Come on, a software glitch that announced a four-million nickel winner that’s an accident? I don’t buy it. So here’s my advice to the casino: Shut up and pay up. For God’s sake it’s only $200,000, and the good publicity you could generate from this would be worth millions. You start nit-picking like you’re doing, and trying to hide behind a lame software-glitch excuse, why would anybody want to gamble at a casino that’s obviously run by a bunch of weasels? Morons.
Moving on to our nation’s capital and the Washington Post Web site, I learned about John Collinsworth, a government consultant who, using computer programs he claims he found on the Internet, managed to crack the FBI's classified computer system and gain the passwords of 38,000 employees, including that of the FBI Director Robert Mueller, the turd—I’m sorry, the third.
The break-ins, which occurred four times last year, gave Collinsworth access to records in the Witness Protection Program and details on counter-espionage activity. That certainly makes us all sleep better at night, doesn’t it?
As a direct result, the FBI said it was forced to temporarily shut down its network and commit thousands of man-hours and millions of dollars to make sure no sensitive information was lost or misused.
The government does not allege that Mr. Collinsworth intended to harm national security. But prosecutors said Collinsworth’s, "curiosity hacks" nonetheless compromised sensitive information. Gee, ‘ya think?
Collinsworth said that he used the passwords and other information to bypass bureaucratic obstacles and better help the FBI install its new computer system.
Okay, so he was only trying to HELP by hacking the system. I got it.
Collinsworth pleaded guilty to four counts of intentionally accessing a computer while exceeding authorized access. I never heard of that charge before, but hey, it works for me.
And like so many doofuses before him, he now faces up to 18 months in prison, he lost his job, and his top-secret clearance was revoked. Probably not a bad idea considering he hacked the system. Hello?
From Washington, I headed up into New England and the prestigious Boston Globe Web site where I learned about a man who claims that his arranged marriage was something less than he bargained for. It seems that Doctor—yes, Doctor Vijay and some last name that looks like an eye chart—claims that once he saw his bride in his arranged marriage, that she was too ugly to marry, and he’s suing friends who set up the New Delhi nuptials.
In his lawsuit, Dr. V. contends that he traveled to India to meet his bride-to-be, but was "extremely shocked" to discover that the woman was "ugly," had "protruding, bad teeth," and was too dumb to hold a conversation, so he called off the ceremony. What a shame. I was planning to give her a WaterPick as a wedding gift.
The lawsuit, which seeks $200,000 in damages, names as defendants a Maryland couple whose niece was the proposed blushing bride. As the good doctor sees it, the Maryland couple, who were his former friends, are guilty of fraud and conspiracy for trying to arrange a marriage with their unattractive relative. Along with supposedly suffering emotional distress, the doctor alleges that the derailed wedding cost him money spent on travel and long-distance telephone calls, not to mention the knife that he bought and was planning to use to gouge his own eyes out, after meeting her.
Unfortunately, there was no picture of the bride on the Boston Globe Web site, nor of the groom—and let’s face it, he may have been nothing to write home about, either. For all we know, maybe a matching set of knives would have been a better wedding gift so they could both gouge their eyes out.
Speaking of matrimony—and they don’t call me the Prince of Seques for nothing—there’s now a Web site that claims to be the Internet’s largest database of cheaters. And the site’s URL—you gotta love it—is DontDateHimGirl.com.
The Web site invites women to post negative comments to warn others against men who are, shall we say, poor dating material.
Since litigation seems to be a common theme so far this week, it will come as no surprise that the Web site is being sued by Pittsburgh criminal defense lawyer Walter Holland, who says false and defamatory material was posted about his client. The only wrinkle here is that the attorney is representing himself. Ouch!
I wonder if there’s a DontDateHerMan.com, or a DontDateHerDude—or maybe a DontDateHerDoofus Web site. Probably so.
While meandering through Northwestern University’s Web site, I learned of a study that concludes that men overrate their Internet skills, while women tend to underestimate their computer prowess.
The study—the first to match actual skills of computer users with perceptions of their skills—found most women rated themselves between "fairly skilled" and "not very skilled," while men rated themselves from "very skilled" to "fairly skilled." Men. They’re all pigs, aren’t they?
Researchers at Northwestern monitored a thousand computer users, divided equally between men and women, as they performed tasks on the Internet. 84 percent of the participants were able to complete the tasks -- such as finding a political candidate's position on immigration -- with men and women of similar age, educational background and income being equally proficient.
Interestingly enough, not a single man (or married, for that matter) rated himself as "not skilled at all" and not a single woman rated herself as "expert."
Hey, I said it was interesting, not life-altering.
Onward to the Los Angeles Times Web site, which is always good for a doofus or two. Here I learned that image-conscious Russians are handing over hundreds of dollars to a travel agency that provides souvenirs and photographic proof, thanks to PhotoShop, of non-existent vacations.
Yes, you heard me. Dimitry Popov, founder and chief executive of Popov Tours, told the Los Angeles Times that his company started the service last year when the travel business was bottoming out. The most far-fetched vacation so far was for a Siberian gas station owner who paid $2,000 for evidence that he had taken a ride on the Russian space shuttle to the moon.
For $500, the company can provide ticket stubs, hotel receipts and photos with clients' images superimposed in such locations as San Tropez, Las Vegas, or Singapore.
For philandering husbands claiming to be going on a fishing trip, the company provides photos of him on the river, a cell phone with a distant area code to give his wife, an answering service for a fictitious fishing lodge that, when the Mrs. calls, says that the husband is checked in but is not available, and a few dead fish packed in ice for hubby to take home, along with his complimentary STD, no doubt.
Business, as you might imagine, is booming.
Last, but not least—I love this story—from the Ft. Lauderdale Sentinel Web site I learned about Neil Robertson’s house being burglarized, but oddly enough, the thieves left his TV, his DVD player, and even left his watch.
What they did take, according to the police report, was a QUOTE "generic white cardboard box filled with a whiteish powder."
A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said that it looked like cocaine, and the thief probably thought they'd hit the big time and made a major score.
Then Neil stood in front of the TV cameras and tearfully pleaded with viewers, hoping the doofus burglar might be watching. Looking into the camera, the sniffling, whimpering Robertson begged, “Please return the cremated remains of my sister Gertrude. She died three years ago and I miss her."
Now here’s where the story takes an interesting twist, as if the story isn’t twisted enough already: Apparently whoever broke into his house WAS watching TV and saw his plea for Gertie, because the next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Neil’s doorstep. This is absolutely true.
The cardboard box was there too; with about half of Gertrude's ashes in it along with a note that said, “Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day."
Note: Incidents recounted within this segment are based on true events, though names, locations, and incidences themselves may have been enhanced for dramatic effect, or to obtain a few chuckles, smirks and/or chortles from the listening audience.
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Last week's results:
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Kubuntu / Ubuntu
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Linux Ready Computers
If you're planning on buying someone a computer this year, why not get them a desktop or laptop with GNU/Linux pre-installed? If you don't know where to buy one, you can check out the Pre-Installed Linux Vendor Database. The database lets you filter on laptops or desktops, and you can see what city the vendor is in.
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These hand-picked sites by PC Chat are worthy of your attention.
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